Why Observing is a Critical Parenting Skill?
In this fast-paced world, most of the parents are rushing from one task to the other. It’s not that childcare is not in our priority list of tasks. It’s pretty much an important task, which we do attend and complete. But honestly, how many of us can say loudly without any fear that we are present 100% with our kids, without getting distracted by the gadgets or other thoughts.
I was in the same boat till the last few months but learned a big lesson about it, which is why I am here to talk about it. This got triggered by my child’s question the other day. I was browsing through social media and playing a board game with my child. Suddenly, he closed the board game and walked away. When asked why did he did it, he told me that I am not interested in him like his aunt in his school. I was honestly perplexed with this answer.
Till that point of time, I used to pat my back myself, thinking that I am a good mother. But in my child’s view, that’s not the case it seems. So, I decided to understand where I went wrong. Obviously, my first step would be to meet his aunt in the school and have a candid discussion.
After my discussion, she called me into the class for observing the children for a while. Only you observe the Montessori class in action, we can understand its beauty. How the children are moving from one activity to the other and how they are concentrating on the task at hand. That’s when the beauty of observing in silence, without the distraction of gadgets struck me.
After the first day of the observation, I really didn’t take many notes but seen a child really struggling in handling the rolling pin. On the second day, when I went back into the class for observation, that very same child is using the rolling pin with ease. I couldn’t really understand what made the child progress so easily from having a lot of difficulties in handling the rolling pin smoothly.
When I asked the aunt about this progress, she told me that after today morning the child was mixing clay, which strengthened his wrist muscles, and hence he is handling the rolling pin with ease. Of course, there is still a long way for him to excel in that activity.
So now, as a parent, I would just take away the rolling pin from my child’s hands and complete the task on my own, as he is struggling. But would never have thought to give another task which would enable him to master the rolling pin activity.
Related read on my Blog: Are you sure that you know your child?
There comes the difference between me and her (his aunt in the school). She is present with the child completely and is able to understand his feelings, his struggles more clearly. on the other hand, though I am spending more time with him, I was getting distracted with gadgets and not able to understand his struggles or fears.
So the lesson, I learned is that I need to spend some quality time with my kid just to observe him. This can be done while I am playing or reciting a story or just by sitting next to him. It’s all in my hands and the more I decide to become a conscious parent, the more I would be able to observe and learn more about my child.
I had made my choice that day itself, to be a more conscious and observant parent to my child. What about you?